Bizarro Orlando, FL (BP)- Louie Cameron, 76, has a rare form of dementia that has silenced the area of his brain responsible for creating lies that preserve one's reputation (yes, that is a thing that exists). That doesn't stop him from keeping abreast of the latest news, and Louie doesn't like what he sees.
"It's such a pain in the ass, I can't even tell you," Louie sighed, dabbing sweat from his brow. "I'm trying to make this guy into a martyr, and he keeps pissing in my cornflakes."
Louie is reacting to the latest of several brushes with the law by George Zimmerman, who was thrust into the spotlight for shooting an unarmed teenager, Trayvon Martin. George was found not guilty on the charge of 2nd degree murder, and released. Since then, Zimmerman and his handgun, Little Blasty, have traveled around America punching for love on all the wrong faces. Though his estranged wife has agreed to drop her charges against him, his latest arrest for a "domestic incident" suggests that he's back at it once more.
During the controversial murder trial, Louie defended Zimmerman against every allegation of racism and villainy that he could find. Thanks to his clinical candidness, he was able to offer us an uncensored glimpse into his mindset.
"It seems to me that being a thug should be enough to get profiled," he explained. "By 'thug', I refer to young black men that wear clothing I don't like. When Zimmerman testified that Martin only attacked him after he saw the gun, I thought for sure I was in trouble. People would figure out that a strange man approaching you with a gun in his waistband is probably going to use it on you, especially after he's been following you for some time. Luckily, nobody gave that scenario any thought. I was empowered to hate black people in a way that I haven't experienced in a long time."
But now a different narrative is beginning to take shape. Zimmerman the brave neighborhood watchman has begun to paint himself as plump, scruffy ball of uncontrollable rage. Suddenly the stories of Zimmerman's life pre-notoriety, where he was known as a dangerously unstable asshole, weren't easy to brush off.
"I'm thinking about dusting off that old story about the Australian guy in Oklahoma if this keeps going south," Louie grumbled while scrolling through Free Republic. "I've lost one martyr, but I suppose one's just as good as the other. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to alphabetize my secret transexual pornography collection before my wife gets home."
Showing posts with label Race Relations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Race Relations. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Editorial: Gan Dainor White-Splains the Redskins
Gan Dainor is an obese white man who really wants you to know that what doesn't offend him should never offend you, and that what offends him should be banned by law and punishable by lengthy incarceration.
Political parties are fighting in D.C., but journalists have decided that the most critical issue facing America is the name of a football team! Which is just ridiculous, since everyone knows you can only be concerned about one thing at any given time. My psychiatrist calls it a "serious disorder." I call it "laser-focused cognition."
What's in a name? When it comes to the Redskins, The Washington Post has devoted a lot of ink to editorials roasting the name as racist and indefensible. In fact, they used 31,000 words this year alone! That's seven times the words that are in the U.S. Constitution (proof positive that the writers are Hitler-loving Communists). But most Americans, and by "most Americans" I mean me because I'm projecting myself on all of you, are not offended by the name.
Naturally, everyone critical of the name has labeled people like me, and Most Americans by proxy, as racists. This is typical of liberals, who have appointed themselves the arbiters of all morality. It's also why I have to go out of my way to tell you what Most Americans really think, and why you deserve to be beaten mercilessly for disagreeing.
Mike Wise makes no bones about his support of Race Thugging (I made that one myself! It's provocative, yet factual.). "Trying to enlighten [Most Americans] is like trying to enlighten your half-cocked, old-head uncle who uses racial epithets at Thanksgiving dinner. At some point, you either let him eat or kick him out." Wow, getting uncomfortable about your racist grandpa shouting about Jews drinking baby blood during Thanksgiving dinner? Who's the real bigot, liberals? The Dainor family has never let a single Thanksgiving pass without playing a rousing game of Madlibs: The Strom Thurmond Edition.
Redskins Owner Dan Snyder has used actual logic to defend his team's name, not white guilt. In 1932, four players and the head coach were Native Americans! And if you can think of a more racially aware time in American history, I dare you to name it!
The bottom line is that the media is once again attempting mind control. They're writing these editorials in an attempt to convince you that their point of view is the correct one, and that's just sick. The same liberals that labeled "Piss Christ" a work of art now rail against a sports team with a terrible, terrrrrible nammmeee!
Let's be honest. America has been extremely kind to Native Americans. We gave them blankets, liquor, and guns. Our military guided them on a scenic and beautiful hike to the heartland of America, where they thrive to this day. And when are white people going to get THEIR reservations? Huh!? We gave you all that out of the goodness of our hearts! I think you owe us one little racial slur that we're allowed to use. Maybe we'll even forgive you for Custer.
I've seen Pocahantas, Last of the Mohicans, and Disney's Peter Pan dozens of times. It's safe to say that I know more than enough about Native American culture than most liberals will ever forget. And as an expert in their culture, I can tell you they would be proud of an entire NFL team that honors their heritage. If they're not, we gave you your dignity, and we'll sure as heck take it away if you cross We the People. Fair warning, injuns.
Political parties are fighting in D.C., but journalists have decided that the most critical issue facing America is the name of a football team! Which is just ridiculous, since everyone knows you can only be concerned about one thing at any given time. My psychiatrist calls it a "serious disorder." I call it "laser-focused cognition."
What's in a name? When it comes to the Redskins, The Washington Post has devoted a lot of ink to editorials roasting the name as racist and indefensible. In fact, they used 31,000 words this year alone! That's seven times the words that are in the U.S. Constitution (proof positive that the writers are Hitler-loving Communists). But most Americans, and by "most Americans" I mean me because I'm projecting myself on all of you, are not offended by the name.
Naturally, everyone critical of the name has labeled people like me, and Most Americans by proxy, as racists. This is typical of liberals, who have appointed themselves the arbiters of all morality. It's also why I have to go out of my way to tell you what Most Americans really think, and why you deserve to be beaten mercilessly for disagreeing.
Mike Wise makes no bones about his support of Race Thugging (I made that one myself! It's provocative, yet factual.). "Trying to enlighten [Most Americans] is like trying to enlighten your half-cocked, old-head uncle who uses racial epithets at Thanksgiving dinner. At some point, you either let him eat or kick him out." Wow, getting uncomfortable about your racist grandpa shouting about Jews drinking baby blood during Thanksgiving dinner? Who's the real bigot, liberals? The Dainor family has never let a single Thanksgiving pass without playing a rousing game of Madlibs: The Strom Thurmond Edition.
Redskins Owner Dan Snyder has used actual logic to defend his team's name, not white guilt. In 1932, four players and the head coach were Native Americans! And if you can think of a more racially aware time in American history, I dare you to name it!
The bottom line is that the media is once again attempting mind control. They're writing these editorials in an attempt to convince you that their point of view is the correct one, and that's just sick. The same liberals that labeled "Piss Christ" a work of art now rail against a sports team with a terrible, terrrrrible nammmeee!
Let's be honest. America has been extremely kind to Native Americans. We gave them blankets, liquor, and guns. Our military guided them on a scenic and beautiful hike to the heartland of America, where they thrive to this day. And when are white people going to get THEIR reservations? Huh!? We gave you all that out of the goodness of our hearts! I think you owe us one little racial slur that we're allowed to use. Maybe we'll even forgive you for Custer.
I've seen Pocahantas, Last of the Mohicans, and Disney's Peter Pan dozens of times. It's safe to say that I know more than enough about Native American culture than most liberals will ever forget. And as an expert in their culture, I can tell you they would be proud of an entire NFL team that honors their heritage. If they're not, we gave you your dignity, and we'll sure as heck take it away if you cross We the People. Fair warning, injuns.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Minor League Baseball: Racy Rascals Regarded as Racist
Bizarro Post Racial Justice Bureau- A minor-league baseball team is drawing a lot of heat for their moniker and mascot, but the Harrison County Inbred Horsemolesters are standing their ground against a growing tide of anger.
"It's reprehensible is what it is," said long-time resident of the south Betsy Cline. "They're taking this terrible caricature of me and everyone I care about and parading it around like it's nothing."
The Inbred Horemolesters are new to the minors, and though they've performed pitifully on the diamond, controversy alone has driven their brand to the headlines of whatever media outlet actually cares about minor league baseball. Their mascot Toothless Jim, whose cartoon rendition is the team's logo, is a 13-toed yokel wearing a filthy wifebeater and stained sweatpants. We caught up with him as he smoked something out of a broken light bulb.
"I've done had it with them folks and their ivory tower critimicisms," Jim slurred. "All them elitist city queers playing the race card and attackin' honest people of business like my employer. To hell with them!"
But southern whites show no signs of letting this portrayal of their culture go, vowing to boycott any business that dares to sponsor the team, such as Harrison County's specialty store Bed, Bathsalts, and Beyond. Manager Frank McCarthy was incensed at the attacks on his small business. "It's bad enough that I've got the DEA breathing down my neck over spice, but now I've got a bunch of race-baiting elitists to worry about? Give me a break!"
Are people defending the dignity of white southerners in the right, or are they over-sensitive persecutors of those who enjoy the casual racism guaranteed to us in our nation's God-breathed Constitution? Voice your opinion in our comments section!
(COMMENTS ARE CLOSED FOR THIS ENTRY DUE TO UNTIMELY DEATH OF MODERATOR WHO ACCIDENTALLY OPENED HIS OFFICE WINDOW AND ACCIDENTALLY JUMPED OUT)
"It's reprehensible is what it is," said long-time resident of the south Betsy Cline. "They're taking this terrible caricature of me and everyone I care about and parading it around like it's nothing."
The Inbred Horemolesters are new to the minors, and though they've performed pitifully on the diamond, controversy alone has driven their brand to the headlines of whatever media outlet actually cares about minor league baseball. Their mascot Toothless Jim, whose cartoon rendition is the team's logo, is a 13-toed yokel wearing a filthy wifebeater and stained sweatpants. We caught up with him as he smoked something out of a broken light bulb.
"I've done had it with them folks and their ivory tower critimicisms," Jim slurred. "All them elitist city queers playing the race card and attackin' honest people of business like my employer. To hell with them!"
But southern whites show no signs of letting this portrayal of their culture go, vowing to boycott any business that dares to sponsor the team, such as Harrison County's specialty store Bed, Bathsalts, and Beyond. Manager Frank McCarthy was incensed at the attacks on his small business. "It's bad enough that I've got the DEA breathing down my neck over spice, but now I've got a bunch of race-baiting elitists to worry about? Give me a break!"
Are people defending the dignity of white southerners in the right, or are they over-sensitive persecutors of those who enjoy the casual racism guaranteed to us in our nation's God-breathed Constitution? Voice your opinion in our comments section!
(COMMENTS ARE CLOSED FOR THIS ENTRY DUE TO UNTIMELY DEATH OF MODERATOR WHO ACCIDENTALLY OPENED HIS OFFICE WINDOW AND ACCIDENTALLY JUMPED OUT)
Monday, September 23, 2013
Voice of the Internet: Chicago Violence
Bizarro Chicago, IL (BP)- After a mass shooting on a Chicago basketball court that left 13 people seriously injured, top American thinkers have decided to immediately stop caring.
Friends and family members of the victims gathered today to express their sorrow at the violence that threatens their lives every day, and pleaded for an end to the indiscriminate murders committed by organized crime members throughout the poverty-stricken areas of Chicago.
"It needs to stop. It needs to stop," cried Semencha Nunn, the grandmother of a 3-year-old victim.
"Did I miss the presser with...all of the families of those who were shot yesterday?" said newwtricks on Huffington Post, who didn't look particularly hard at the article that was literally on the same page he wrote this on.
Citing statistics with no sources, Americans came to the conclusion that this incident simply isn't worthy of their concern. In fact, everyone injured in this random attempt at multiple murders deserves it for reasons.
"Al and the rest of the community need to come together and focus on what the obvious problem is with the city, drugs, gangs, crime, and lack of sheer humanity in the African American community," wrote Belmontkid on Newsvine.
Several users sympathized with this point of view. Many Americans apparently believe that the entire African American community is sub-human. Why aren't civil rights leaders addressing that belief? Why haven't they ever disputed that? Why haven't I Googled to see if they actually have and I just never bothered to look? The world may never know.
And why do these tragedies happen time and time again? Deep thinkers like Newsvine's PFirefly offers his insight.
"Wow, you get a demo in the White (Black-White-Muslim) house and the shootings escalate. What's the deal with that? Must be depression or something," says PFirefly, who theorizes that a diminishing whiteness in America has lead to a depression or something. Depression or Something Theory is a popular theme of research by intellectuals like Nome Chomsky and Dr. Phil.
And once we've determined the problem, it's time to get cracking on solutions. elayne-675382 on Newsvine devised a strategy.
"When human animals keep getting worse, time for the big boys to step in and take control. No one can cry about this. Stop acting like wild animals and this would not happen. Sorry wild animals, you do not even act like these 'people'," wrote elayne-6752382.
It's clear that Americans want action, and they want it now. They want martial law, they want life-sentences and executions without trial, and they demand that the "big boys" teach the "human animals" a lesson with their nightsticks and bullets in order to fight lawlessness and violence in the street's of Chicago.
Friends and family members of the victims gathered today to express their sorrow at the violence that threatens their lives every day, and pleaded for an end to the indiscriminate murders committed by organized crime members throughout the poverty-stricken areas of Chicago.
"It needs to stop. It needs to stop," cried Semencha Nunn, the grandmother of a 3-year-old victim.
"Did I miss the presser with...all of the families of those who were shot yesterday?" said newwtricks on Huffington Post, who didn't look particularly hard at the article that was literally on the same page he wrote this on.
Citing statistics with no sources, Americans came to the conclusion that this incident simply isn't worthy of their concern. In fact, everyone injured in this random attempt at multiple murders deserves it for reasons.
"Al and the rest of the community need to come together and focus on what the obvious problem is with the city, drugs, gangs, crime, and lack of sheer humanity in the African American community," wrote Belmontkid on Newsvine.
Several users sympathized with this point of view. Many Americans apparently believe that the entire African American community is sub-human. Why aren't civil rights leaders addressing that belief? Why haven't they ever disputed that? Why haven't I Googled to see if they actually have and I just never bothered to look? The world may never know.
And why do these tragedies happen time and time again? Deep thinkers like Newsvine's PFirefly offers his insight.
"Wow, you get a demo in the White (Black-White-Muslim) house and the shootings escalate. What's the deal with that? Must be depression or something," says PFirefly, who theorizes that a diminishing whiteness in America has lead to a depression or something. Depression or Something Theory is a popular theme of research by intellectuals like Nome Chomsky and Dr. Phil.
And once we've determined the problem, it's time to get cracking on solutions. elayne-675382 on Newsvine devised a strategy.
"When human animals keep getting worse, time for the big boys to step in and take control. No one can cry about this. Stop acting like wild animals and this would not happen. Sorry wild animals, you do not even act like these 'people'," wrote elayne-6752382.
It's clear that Americans want action, and they want it now. They want martial law, they want life-sentences and executions without trial, and they demand that the "big boys" teach the "human animals" a lesson with their nightsticks and bullets in order to fight lawlessness and violence in the street's of Chicago.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Culture War Tactics: I Have a Scream
Bizarro Post Internet Argument Bureau- As the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Dream" speech approaches, it's important to brush up on your inflammatory rhetoric so that you're prepared to show anonymous Internet assholes that you're the biggest dickhead of them all. Here are five great tips, followed by real-world examples from actual online communities!
1. "I have a dream that _____________"
If people remember nothing else about this speech, and they probably don't, the iconic line that became the rallying cry of a movement is easily co-opted into a vehicle for whatever political agenda you might be promoting. For bonus points, begin your post with "Oh yeah!? Well--" followed by your "remixed" dream speech. Another option is to insist that the "Dream has become a nightmare" or something similar.
Example: I have a dream that liberals will stop insulting Great Americans that only want freedom and prosperity.
Example: his "Dream" has turned into a nitemare for white working class americans.
2. Post-Mortem Puppetry
The great thing about dead people is you can rewrite their personality, agenda, and everything that made them who they were. What the hell are they going to do about it? Decompose at you? You can attribute any opinion to a dead person and nobody can prove you wrong, because they're dead! All they have are estimates based on that person's entire body of work, and who has time to read and comprehend books? Nobody! Be sure to proclaim the greatness of your stiff spokesman to bolster the credibility of the thing you're saying on their behalf.
Example: How many of you know MLK was a Republican? Think about it!
3. Denominational Domination
Arguments about religion are pretty much a given everywhere you go. A YouTube video about puppies? Religious debate in the comments. Amazon review of a One Direction beach towel? Religious debate in the reviews. This particular anniversary is advantageous because Dr. King was a pastor by trade. Now, you could look up what church he affiliated himself with and what his theological perspective was. But because nobody else will, you can freely use the late pastor's faith to promote anything you want. You can even use it to demonize a religion or sect that you hate!
Example: Martin Luther King Jr. was a sinister minister, a Satan-inspired impostor...NOT A CHRISTIAN!
4. I Have a Truncheon
Provided you're willing to express admiration for the deceased, the memory of beloved dead people can be used to bludgeon your opponents. It doesn't matter what King himself thought about your enemies, or if he even met them. It doesn't even matter if YOU'VE never met them. Bringing down the full force of Dr. King's credentials on your foes is a sure-fire way to get a few precious upvotes.
Example: Dr. King would be totally disgusted and appalled by the modern black civil rights leaders, Obama, and Holder INCLUDED. Dr. King wanted equality, mutual respect and understanding between the races, not hand-outs. Dr. King was a true visionary leader, Obama and Holder are nothing of the sort, the polar opposite of Dr. King.
5. The Nuclear Option
Oh damn, you were too slow on the draw! Now somebody's used the memory of Martin Luther King Jr. to make you look like a jabroni in front of all your faceless internet friend-surrogates. The only thing left is to go full scorched-earth and destroy their ownage at its foundation. Undermine the memory of Dr. King, and you can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Example: Marchin' Lootin" and Killin' was also a communist....a member of sixty or so such organizations.
Example: King,the epitome of a media made icon.A man who's biggest accomplishment was the number of white women he bedded,a man who's only other discernible skill was delivering'convincingly,speeches written by others.Ironically,this is also the only skill that the current occupant of the white house exhibits.
1. "I have a dream that _____________"
If people remember nothing else about this speech, and they probably don't, the iconic line that became the rallying cry of a movement is easily co-opted into a vehicle for whatever political agenda you might be promoting. For bonus points, begin your post with "Oh yeah!? Well--" followed by your "remixed" dream speech. Another option is to insist that the "Dream has become a nightmare" or something similar.
Example: I have a dream that liberals will stop insulting Great Americans that only want freedom and prosperity.
Example: his "Dream" has turned into a nitemare for white working class americans.
2. Post-Mortem Puppetry
The great thing about dead people is you can rewrite their personality, agenda, and everything that made them who they were. What the hell are they going to do about it? Decompose at you? You can attribute any opinion to a dead person and nobody can prove you wrong, because they're dead! All they have are estimates based on that person's entire body of work, and who has time to read and comprehend books? Nobody! Be sure to proclaim the greatness of your stiff spokesman to bolster the credibility of the thing you're saying on their behalf.
Example: How many of you know MLK was a Republican? Think about it!
3. Denominational Domination
Arguments about religion are pretty much a given everywhere you go. A YouTube video about puppies? Religious debate in the comments. Amazon review of a One Direction beach towel? Religious debate in the reviews. This particular anniversary is advantageous because Dr. King was a pastor by trade. Now, you could look up what church he affiliated himself with and what his theological perspective was. But because nobody else will, you can freely use the late pastor's faith to promote anything you want. You can even use it to demonize a religion or sect that you hate!
Example: Martin Luther King Jr. was a sinister minister, a Satan-inspired impostor...NOT A CHRISTIAN!
4. I Have a Truncheon
Provided you're willing to express admiration for the deceased, the memory of beloved dead people can be used to bludgeon your opponents. It doesn't matter what King himself thought about your enemies, or if he even met them. It doesn't even matter if YOU'VE never met them. Bringing down the full force of Dr. King's credentials on your foes is a sure-fire way to get a few precious upvotes.
Example: Dr. King would be totally disgusted and appalled by the modern black civil rights leaders, Obama, and Holder INCLUDED. Dr. King wanted equality, mutual respect and understanding between the races, not hand-outs. Dr. King was a true visionary leader, Obama and Holder are nothing of the sort, the polar opposite of Dr. King.
5. The Nuclear Option
Oh damn, you were too slow on the draw! Now somebody's used the memory of Martin Luther King Jr. to make you look like a jabroni in front of all your faceless internet friend-surrogates. The only thing left is to go full scorched-earth and destroy their ownage at its foundation. Undermine the memory of Dr. King, and you can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Example: Marchin' Lootin" and Killin' was also a communist....a member of sixty or so such organizations.
Example: King,the epitome of a media made icon.A man who's biggest accomplishment was the number of white women he bedded,a man who's only other discernible skill was delivering'convincingly,speeches written by others.Ironically,this is also the only skill that the current occupant of the white house exhibits.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Racists Race to Their Klu Klux Keyboards
Bizarro Duncan, OK (BP)- After the senseless murder of an Australian national by three teenagers, America's racists are celebrating their chance at a new revival.
"It's been real hard since Mr. Zimmerman stood his ground. The PC Police ain't lettin' anything get by," said Heber Springs, Arkansas resident Jimmy Johns.
Social media networks and commentary sections on news sites were on high alert for phrases such as "14/88" and "feral thugs", deleting and banning users for using them. Claims of persecution against persecution were ignored.
"The left-wing media launched a full-scale assault on our first-amendment rights," said Illinois Nazi Shane Stevens. "First amendment's there for a reasons, lib-tards. It's so you can say what you want without anyone get sore at you or judgin' you. Duh!"
Now that this vicious murder has taken place, racists have found those restrictions relaxed. The change was immediately noticeable in public forums.
"Dey goot boyz, yall don't kno how hard life iz when you dark and tryin tah do right," wrote user Willamina on Huffington Post.
Still more lashed out at Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton, frequently targeted for criticism due to their tendency to say nice things about other African-Americans.
"True justice would be administering a one inch cut to Jesse and Al every time a white person is killed by a black and one cut each would be healed every time a black is killed by a white. Heck, this wouldn't take long," wrote BAGUIO BOY on the NBC News site.
When a number of people pointed out that 17-year-old Michael Jones appeared to be mixed race, the racists doubled down.
"He looks mixed race. It only matters because we continue to see a pattern of Blacks with no values, morals or respect for human life," wrote glprespecta on the CBS News site.
"It's all over the place. Mixed race is everywhere, not just the President. What can we do about them?" replied IACEMADMAN.
"Hey guys, Obama said this could have been one of his sons!" said tens of thousands of people on websites beyond counting.
James Edwards Junior, 15, and Francis Edwards Junior, 16, were both charged with first-degree murder. The self-confessed trigger man Michael Jones, 17, was charged with being an accessory to first-degree murder and discharging a firearm in a residential area. As for why the guy who actually shot the victim was the only one not charged with murder, take a wild goddamn guess.
"It's been real hard since Mr. Zimmerman stood his ground. The PC Police ain't lettin' anything get by," said Heber Springs, Arkansas resident Jimmy Johns.
Social media networks and commentary sections on news sites were on high alert for phrases such as "14/88" and "feral thugs", deleting and banning users for using them. Claims of persecution against persecution were ignored.
"The left-wing media launched a full-scale assault on our first-amendment rights," said Illinois Nazi Shane Stevens. "First amendment's there for a reasons, lib-tards. It's so you can say what you want without anyone get sore at you or judgin' you. Duh!"
Now that this vicious murder has taken place, racists have found those restrictions relaxed. The change was immediately noticeable in public forums.
"Dey goot boyz, yall don't kno how hard life iz when you dark and tryin tah do right," wrote user Willamina on Huffington Post.
Still more lashed out at Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton, frequently targeted for criticism due to their tendency to say nice things about other African-Americans.
"True justice would be administering a one inch cut to Jesse and Al every time a white person is killed by a black and one cut each would be healed every time a black is killed by a white. Heck, this wouldn't take long," wrote BAGUIO BOY on the NBC News site.
When a number of people pointed out that 17-year-old Michael Jones appeared to be mixed race, the racists doubled down.
"He looks mixed race. It only matters because we continue to see a pattern of Blacks with no values, morals or respect for human life," wrote glprespecta on the CBS News site.
"It's all over the place. Mixed race is everywhere, not just the President. What can we do about them?" replied IACEMADMAN.
"Hey guys, Obama said this could have been one of his sons!" said tens of thousands of people on websites beyond counting.
James Edwards Junior, 15, and Francis Edwards Junior, 16, were both charged with first-degree murder. The self-confessed trigger man Michael Jones, 17, was charged with being an accessory to first-degree murder and discharging a firearm in a residential area. As for why the guy who actually shot the victim was the only one not charged with murder, take a wild goddamn guess.
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