BIzarro Houston, TX (BP)- The state of Texas has issued an apology to an unmarked grave belonging to a man that was wrongly executed. This after CBS News spent a decade examining the unsavory facts behind the controversial trial that put Marshal Wilkerson on a gurney and into the ground.
"Hahaha, yeah, I remember that guy! 'Please Mr. Governor, don't execute me! I didn't do it! I have an IQ of 70! I don't even know how to tie my own shoes!'" Governor Perry recalled just before being informed of recent developments involving the Wilkerson Case. "Uhhhh, tarnation. Mable, I'm going to the range. Bring me my contemplatin' rifle. The one with the motivational kitties carved into the stock. Hold my calls."
A letter of apology was delivered to the graveyard, where it was nailed into the rectangle of granite bearing the prisoner numbers of those buried beneath it. The note read:
"Hey pardner,
Real sorry about stringin' ya up all falsely and whatnot. Please tell Satan that you didn't do it, and Governor Perry says it's okay for Jesus to let you into Heaven.
Happy Trails,
Rowdy Rick Perry"
It was nailed to three incorrect grave markers before the right one was finally located. Many have criticized the note as being callous and insensitive, especially since Wilkerson was Jewish. However, readers can take some comfort in knowing that because Wilkerson never learned to read, he wouldn't have known what it said anyway.
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