AUTOPOST: COULD YOU NOT

Williams, Jordon
Sent: Thu 10/14/2013 12:30 PM
To: All Bizarro Post, Instant Publish Address TEST (DO NOT USE)
CC: hannah.williams@mailcast.net
Topic: COULD YOU JUST NOT.

Look, I don't know what it is about today, okay? I don't. What I do know is that I can't handle any bullshit. I just can't. You've sent me two work orders already in less than an hour. Yes, I know that those were routine requests that are made daily at the same time, but when I saw them appear it felt like my viscera had just splashed out onto the floor (WHICH COULD USE A GODDAMN SWEEPING BY-THE-BY). I've never felt this way before. I would kill a man just to keep playing Minesweeper for one more second. As I swung over to begin the mundane ritual that I have performed hundreds of times, my arms felt like they weighed three-hundred pounds. Same for my eyelids. I've never wanted to not work as hard as I do right now. I'm just done. There's no getting around it.

Please just don't send me anything today. I'll put out the fires the instant I come in tomorrow, but I just can't. Please. One day is all I want. Let me wander through this day like a hungry ghost. Better yet, let me just sleep through it. My desk is fine. The drool won't soak in. Don't ask me how I know.

God....I just

If you walk into my office and find me face down in my folded arms, I'm praying and bothering me is grounds for a lawsuit. Thanks.