Bizarro Post Political Activism Bureau- When Fred Harden, 46, sought to start a grassroots political organization, he thought it was going to be a simple, empowering affair.
"You see people starting groups like this all the time," said Harden. "I thought with enough elbow grease, anyone could do it. I guess I was right to a certain extent, but I had no idea what was going to happen after I got off the ground."
Harden's group, The Polk County Conservative Alliance, reflects the socially and fiscally conservative values that he and many other members of his community live by. When the website, Facebook page, and fliers went up, he had a network of supporters blossom into about 40 willing volunteers for a small gathering at a local park.
"It was going to be a barbecue, where we could get together and discuss our common values. Pray for America, and things of that nature," Harden recalled. "But then I got my first member from outside of town. Outside of the state, even. I didn't know these people, but they were pledging support. I thought it was amazing! At first."
What Harden didn't know is that this influx of attention was being orchestrated by Art Copeland, a billionaire known for his heavy financial involvement in politics after the controversial Citizens United ruling allowed for anonymous contributions and legalized money laundering. One of Copeland's numerous political action committees contacted Harden with an offer.
"I get this letter from the American Foundation for Freedomy Liberties PAC. They say they've been watching my group gaining momentum, and want to take control of it after paying me a small commission for getting the ball rolling," Harden said, brandishing the letter. "I didn't want it. This was supposed to be about my community, and how we felt. And I started to wonder if all these people I had never met decided to cooperate with this group."
Harden's intuitions were right. On the day of the PCCA's outing, the park was flooded with strangers and cameras from Fox News, Pajamas Media, and Breitbart News. Harden and his friends were heartbroken.
"He told them he wouldn't sell, so they swooped in with numbers to take it from him. It's socialism is what it is!" said Harden's long-time friend Jerry "Sarge" Shelton.
Polk natives, Harden included, watched the massive event from a nearby sandwich shop. Confederate flags and misspelled signs were thrust into the air, and then discarded all over the carefully maintained public park. Rascal and HoverRound scooters ripped through the grass, leaving muddy stripes all across the youth league's baseball diamond. A wealthy financier commissioned an elaborate stage for the speakers to use, where they encouraged participants to invest in gold and buy freeze-dried rations for the upcoming Obam-ocalypse.
"This is terrible," remarked World War II veteran Charles Bowling. "We wanted a nice picnic, and the circus comes into town."
The lovely park was now trashed. Had the local Boy Scout Troop not jumped in to volunteer, it likely would have remained a shadow of its former self. Even now, scars remain.
"I don't even want to be a part of PCCA anymore," Harden sighed. "But it's not mine. Now it belongs to some millionaire I've never even met, who's going to bus in even more people next month for another event in the town square."
The PPCA, once one man's humble attempt to let his community's voice be heard, has been absorbed into a strange and shadowy hivemind with vague intentions.
"We love that small town activism! It's really about giving a voice to Main Street USA," explained American Foundation for Freedomy Liberties PAC representative Clive Bartlett. According to the AFFL PAC website, the group supports a grassroots initiative to make the market "more fair" for multi-national corporations operating in America's rural communities.
"I just wanted a picnic," Harden muttered as news helicopters buzzed his home for the third time in an hour.
No comments:
Post a Comment