Bizarro Post Justice Bureau- Through the joint efforts of the FBI, IRS, and CIA a major hub of criminal activity has been shut down. Devotees knew it as The Yellow Brick Road.
"This was a highly sophisticated operation, hidden well over the rainbow. Our bust today is the culmination of several years of surveillance," an FBI spokeswoman said during a press briefing.
According to the investigative records obtained by the Bizarro Post, The Yellow Brick Road contained unregulated food manufacturing by the Lollipop Guild cartel, black market organs such as hearts and brains, and prohibited genetic alteration experiments intended to create flying monkeys and sentient trees. There were even counterfeit medals of valor freely available to any coward who wished to boast about exemplary military service that never even took place.
"The guy behind this hid behind this big, intimidating avatar," said Chief Investigator Nelson Chandler. "Turns out it was the grizzled old man. It's always the same with these criminal types."
Yellow Road users accessed the black market via tornadoes, and departed with their goods by chanting until they awaken in their beds with the illicit items.
Among the most stunning seizures is an impounded hot air balloon and a pair of ruby encrusted slippers, which could very well be worth several million dollars provided the gems are authentic.
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