Demeaning Demands of Dapper Darling

Bizarro Manhattan, NY (BP)- Thousands of middle and working class women are grieving today after being denied access to the finest piece of manflesh to ever draw breath.

56-year-old Robert Darling graced Times Square with his radiance, bearing a sign offering his strong, but limber hand in marriage to a wealthy woman. Robert is tragically unemployed, after the other male supermodels at his former employer complained about all the contracts going to him. Surprisingly, the darling Robert Darling has never had a serious relationship in his life.

"There are simply too many women who want to court me because of my face, and I guess I've made peace with that," Robert explained. "However, if a lady desires my visage, I should at least expect her to be able to provide the proper compensation. I'm not a prostitute, of course. This Clydesdale stud is only getting auctioned off once!"

Activists object strongly to Robert's tactics, insisting that he is promoting classist principles by denying 50% of the 99% access to this Adonis.

Darling insists that the critics are simply "Jelly."