Kentucky Gets Shariah'd

Bizarro Frankfort, KY (BP)- The Commonwealth of Kentucky is stunned today after it found itself under the control of Shariah Law.

J. Michael Brown, Secretary of the Justice and Public Safety Cabinet, left his office to use the restroom early Tuesday morning when Taj Ali seized Secretary Brown's chair and called Dibs. Ali is a "qadis", which is a judge appointed to interpret Shariah Law. Justice Cabinet staff could only stand outside of the conquered office as Taj Ali began his work.

"If only we had outlawed this," said a dejected Secretary Brown, weeping softly as his name is scraped from the office door's window. "Why didn't we listen to Oklahoma, or North Carolina?"

The calling of Dibs legally transfers the authority of the Justice Cabinet to the control of the caller. Unless Ali leaves the office open to a Counter-Dib, it cannot be reclaimed. Supporters of Shariah Law brought a chemical toilet and coolers full of humus and bottled water--suggesting that the new head of Kentucky's justice branch wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

"We have seen that this state failed to explicitly forbid Shariah, and felt that this opportunity was too good to pass up," said Secretary Ali.

This is the second sudden change in administration for Kentucky in 2013. In early April, a Trekkie named Benjamin Thompson called Dibs on the Kentucky Department of Transportation. Driver's education courses were redefined as "Starfleet Navigational Academies", and all KDOT employees subordinate to Thompson were forced to wear skintight red uniforms.