Bedelia Headed for Bedlam

Bizarro Manning, SC (BP)- Mentally ill housekeeper Amelia Bedelia was arrested today on charges of aggravated animal cruelty, but her employers claim it's all just a tragic mistake.

Police responded to the Rogers residence Friday morning to investigate a complaint of smoke, strange noises, and foul odors. One neighbor told the dispatcher that the owners of the home maintained a live-in housekeeper by the name of Amelia Bedelia, whose strange behavior was a subject of many local legends.

"We saw significant amounts of smoke emerging from a window at the rear of the house," said responding officer James Quintel. "After requesting the fire department be placed on stand-by, we knocked on the rear entrance and were let in by the suspect."

Bedelia appeared confused and troubled, muttering about a "dreadful task" that she had been assigned by her employer, Mr. Rogers.

Once in the kitchen, the two policemen discovered a scene they wouldn't soon forget. Quintel's partner, Blake DeForest, has never seen anything like it in his 15 years in law enforcement.

"Most animal cruelty cases are hoarders and dog fighters. Manning is the last place I'd expect to see violence as aggravated as this towards multiple animals," said DeForest.

Bedelia lead them into the kitchen, where two deceased dogs lay smoldering on electric stove-top burners. The officers shut off the range and began questioning the trembling housekeeper.

"She kept pointing at a list and saying that she was only doing what she was told," Quintel explained. "Everything was crossed off on the list except, I shit you not, 'Make hotdogs for picnic.'"

Five dogs, all abducted from nearby homes, were found dead in the Rogers home. Three had been placed into the kitchen's preheated oven. When there was no more room inside, Bedelia apparently used the stove-top range to kill the pets initially discovered by Quintel and DeForest.

Amelia Bedelia was arrested and taken to Calrendon County Jail to await a bail hearing for her five charges of animal cruelty. She may also face criminal trespassing and larceny charges after further investigation.

"I made a terrible mistake asking her to make hotdogs," said Bedelia's employer, Mr. Rogers. "There have been misunderstandings like this in the past, but my wife and I never believed it would go this far."

The Rogers family hired a lawyer to represent their housekeeper, and insist that she cannot be held accountable for her actions due to a rare mental condition for which there is no effective treatment.