Bizarro Post Tech Bureau- Dust off those thick, ugly hipster glasses Mac-fans! With the usual Apple flair, the iconic brand rolled out the latest and greatest product in their line of novelty electronics built by 14-year-old suicidal Chinese laborers.
"The iPad Air will revolutionize home computing!" shouted Senior Vice President Phil Schiller at the product's unveiling. "It's got everything you love about our Macintosh desktops and laptops, only with a fraction of the space for hardware. It's got a touch-screen interface with a keyboard that you have to buy separately, and you'll look like a tool if you ever use it in public. It does everything our iPhones can do, only it's way less portable!"
To top it all off, the device features a low-resolution camera that makes you look like a moron when you take pictures with it. Seriously, have you seen the guys who go to press conferences with the president or to high-profile concerts and try to take pictures with one of these monstrosities? You can't tell me you don't cringe a little bit every time you see it.
The iPad Air will retail for a shitload of money. Purchase of the iPad Air qualifies you to be first against the wall when the Glorious People's Revolution takes place.
No comments:
Post a Comment