Bizarro Post Celebrity Bureau- After the recent birth of a female celebrity's son, the Bizarro Post Celebrity Bureau is keeping an eye on her to make sure her disgusting lard-ass loses weight.
"Hey fatass, you're supposed to eat the afterbirth, not the whole baby!" a Bizarro Post reporter shouted as the celebrity left the hospital with her newborn cradled in her arms.
"You're disgusting!" the celebrity's manager shouted.
"You think I'm disgusting, wait until you see the cellulite on those thighs when bikini season comes around! Lose weight, tubby!"
The Bizarro Post will not rest until we see that this landwhale freak loses the weight her body needed to sustain a successful pregnancy. Your grace period is running awfully low, babe. Unless you want to get roasted on TMZ, I suggest you eat a fucking salad or two. And the baby? "Baby fat" my ass! Get the little butterball into Pilates or get off of my TV!
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