Bizarro Washington, D.C. (BP)- The government might be limping along with a skeleton crew, but the rent boy industry is booming near the capitol.
"It's just beyond awesome! My tuition is as good as paid if this goes on for a couple more days!" said male escort Rocky Handstrong.
Now that the media's attention is constantly demanded by the worsening political and financial crisis gripping the federal government, the only publications dedicating staff to catching Republican political figures having sweaty, meth-fueled man orgies are the ones that feature interviews with "highly influential" indie bands nobody that has ever heard of.
"We've dismissed all of our young, supple pages and interns because they're non-essential personnel," said a conservative Congressman who did not wish to be identified. "But the local callboys have really stepped up to--pardon the innuendo--fill the gap. It's always a joy to support American industry as well!"
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