Bizarro Post Public Policy Bureau- If there's one thing we enjoy at the Bizarro Post, it's soliciting the opinions of the general public on complex political skirmishes involving arcane bureaucratic rituals. Mostly because the stunning ignorance of the general public makes us feel so good about our terrible lives.
Today's Topic: Who's to blame for the upcoming government shutdown?
Rich Greenfield- I blame both sides equally. I don't, really, but I say that to women to appear as though I'm not prone to explosive rage over political arguments. Plus, it makes me look wise and level-headed even though it's an intellectually bankrupt stance. In reality, I have a massive stockpile of Chinese ammunition in a fire safe hidden in my crawl space. I also filed my high school class ring's gemstone to a point in anticipation of the day when I finally give the scumbags ruining America a four-knuckle salute to the eye.
Mel Colm-Cille Gerard Gibson- The Jews.
Ron Paul- The Jews.
Jessie Ussery- So they're laying off non-essential personnel, why did they hire them in the first place? I'm an assistant third-shift janitor at Piggly Wiggly, and I see people there every day that can be replaced in a second. Hire who you have to, and not a single person more.
Rachel Ozman: If the Affordable Care Act is so good, why is there such a big fight over it? It stands to reason that a good bill would be supported by everyone, right? Like with desegregation. They like, passed a bill to stop that and everyone was like, 'Duh, why didn't we do this earlier?'
Kayla Olbermann: ALL OF THEM! I don't read nothing with political stuff, so it's just easier to get mad at everyone and call it a day. Who has time to watch Schoolhouse Rock videos when a 13-year-old invented a new dance on YouTube?
Eric Walkowski: It's all because of tax and spend Democrats. When Reagan (pbuh) was in the White House, did he collect taxes and spend federal revenue!? Hell no! Did the founding father's do it? No way! They knew taxation was slavery, and the only slavery I support is the kind that involves Madame Cruella's House of Pain on 3rd Street behind the strip mall. The IRS should look into safewords too.
Pamela Meed: CUT THEIR SALARIES!!! They live paycheck to paycheck like we do, but if they're not working, they should struggle like we do when we're fired for gross incompetence and threatening to sue customers.
Ron Dorner: Blame the people that won't fire them! They for WE THE PEOPLE, and we have the power to kick them out if we don't like the job they're doing. Don't believe me? I sent Bill Clinton a citizen's pink slip in January of 2001. and suddenly George W. Bush was president.
Aaron Wachowski: Affordable healthcare=Someone else pays the bill. People need to stop stealing from insurance companies by forcing them to pay for your procedures. I swear to God, people think because they pay premiums they're ENTITLED to have their medical bills paid for.
James Waters: So let's get this straight. The last time the government shut down was under DEMOCRAT Bill Clinton, and now it's going to shut down under DEMOCRAT Barack Obama. How are the Republicans responsible for this again? No, I'm actually asking. I don't know how checks and balances work and politics is basically a team sport to me.
Nichole Harden: Slavery was a law too once! Now I know the pain that black people suffered when slavery was still happening! Word to my soul brothers from other mothers!
Wendy Bowers: I'm so sick of Congress not getting anything done! I demand action from the right now! Fire them all right now and schedule special elections a few months from now!
Tim Sawyer: President Obama, Democrats, Republicans, and Mossad. In that order.
Dianne Walden: Blame? I'm glad they're shutting down! What the hell does the government do right these days? Who needs them!? Oh god, my Digornos supreme! I completely forgot. Jesus, my kitchen is on fire! Call someone that can put this out! Does anyone know a if the Geek Squad does this sort of thing!?
Jewel Smith: Obamacare is going to destroy the whole healthcare system....and it's gong to make insurance bad with not goodness....and there's a fine tax because of Supreme Court cloture votes.
Brad Morrison: I am a single dad and I know for a fact I can't budget Obama care. When my son gets hurt I just take him to the ER and ignore the bills until they stop. Now I have to pay somebody!? That's socialism!!!
Christopher Benson: I work in a pharmaceutical company, so I kind of know what I'm talking about here. Obamacare is going to force us to abuse patents, create artificial shortages, and cover up side-effects just to make ends meet. None of that would have happened without Obamacare.
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