Bizarro New York, NY (BP) After U.S. District Judge Shira Scheindlin ruled that New York City's stop-and-frisk law enforcement tactic was unconstitutional, advocates for civil liberties are celebrating what they believe to be a major win. But for Clarence Hart, 26, the practice's end represents a major loss.
"Stop-and-frisk changed my life. It gave me the strength to get out of bed every morning," said Clarence, dejected. "Now I've got nothing."
For the entirety of his adult life, Clarence has lived in involuntary isolation. With no friends, no relationships, and no human contact beyond a monthly phone call from his mother, stop-and-frisk marked a brand new chapter in the young man's life. Every day, Clarence walked the streets behaving as suspiciously as possible.
"I would carry around boxes with wires sticking out of them, I'd take bags full of oregano out of my pocket while making eye contact with the nearest officer, and every time I pass a cop on the street I reach for my waistband really quickly," he explained.
According to NYPD records, Clarence Hart successfully baited officers into frisking him approximately 430 times.
"I love the anticipation of them feeling my arms and shoulders," Clarence reminisced sweatingly. "And then they'd just keep going, down, and lower, and lower--"
NYPD Officer LT. Shane Michaels personally frisked Clarence four times.
"I should have caught on the first time he started moaning," recounted Michaels. "And he kept talking about how sometimes criminals hide drugs in their rectum, and then he'd wiggle his hips a little."
If Mayor Bloomberg fails in his appeal, Clarence's only social outlet will vanish forever--but young Mr.Hart has no intention of giving up.
"Getting to the airport every day is going to represent a significant expense, but I'm encouraged by some of the stories I've heard about the TSA checkpoints. They really root around in there."
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