Write an invitation for a sincere actor who gets caught in quicksand.
Dear Mr.Freeman:
I would be remiss not to invite an actor of your stature to the upcoming wrap party for "Se7en 2: Return of the Box". After all, the original film wouldn't have been what it is without you. Although you declined my offer to appear in this highly anticipated new thriller, I am still extending the hand of friendship.
However, I must confess that my benevolence begins and ends with this letter. Everyone involved with "Se7en 2" feels you should not be associated with our product. You have recently made a number of regrettable career decisions, and we would strongly prefer that the ill-will directed towards "Oblivion" and "A Dolphin Tale" not be applied to our superior work.
If the tabloids are to be believed, this will not be a problem, as you appear to be stuck in quicksand. Shameful how those paparazzi seem content to stand by and snap photos when an elderly man is in desperate need of help, isn't it? Then again, there are many who believe it would just be best if you kind of--I don't know--went away before you soiled "Shawshank Redemption" or "Glory". God, that sounds really goddamn awful when I write it out, but you saw what happened to M. Night Shyamalan. One minute he's the hottest property in the business. A few stinkers later, it's not cool to like "Unbreakable" anymore. He could direct a goddamn masterpiece, and everyone would just point to "The Last Airbender" and turn up their noses. You don't need that, man. Just let the nice, soft womb of Mother Earth embrace one of its most cherished sons.
Anyway, the party's at Val Kilmer's place. He isn't in the movie, but he wasn't doing anything this Saturday and gets lonely sometimes. So, you know, if you get out of that quicksand before then you can call I guess. I'll put you on speakerphone so we can all say hello to each other.
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