Bizarro Entertainment Bureau- Legions of devoted "Breaking Bad" fans were stunned after a copy of the final episode's script, apparently forgotten by Bryan Cranston at Comic Con, was uploaded online.
"@breakingbad I can't deal w/ this. #drinkingbleach #suicide"
The
first 45 minutes of the show are everything that a fan might expect
from the big finale. As Jesse Pinkman takes a dozen rounds in the torso
from cartel enforcers, he crumples at the feet of series protagonist and
unlikely kingpin Walter White.
"It's been good working with you......bitch," whispers Jesse, who expires.
Chief
Hank Schrader, Walter's brother in law, arrested Skyler White for her
complicity in her husband's meth empire. Hank's wife is following behind
in her SUV with Skyler and Walter's infant daughter. From somewhere
nearby, we see a group of masked cartel men crouching in the bushes. One
of them holds a disposable cell phone with a number illuminated on its
screen. As the sound of engines begin to swell, the assassin presses
"Send", triggering the IED that obliterates Hank's car. Producing
assault rifles, the men fire into the cars until there is no more
movement.
Walter is dodging gunfire outside of Pinkman's
burning house when his son appears in the family Aztec. As Walt Junior
steps from the driver's side door, we see that his crutches have been
replaced with two rocket launchers.
"Let's k-k-kick some a-a-ass, D-d-dad," Junior says, tossing an RPG to his father.
Before Walt Junior could life his weapon, a sniper's bullet takes him out.
Walter, grimacing and bathed in sweat, stands
motionless as cartel men surround him. They point their rifles, but do
not fire. Their perimeter parts, and in walks cyborg Gustavo Fring. Half
man, half machine, Cyberfring grins at Walter. His chest glows with an
otherworldly blue light.
"You have surpassed all my expectations," growled
Cyberfring. "I will not underestimate you again. My atomic core has made
me unstoppable."
"'Atomic core,' huh? Sounds unstable," Walter replied.
"No, Walter. It is you that is unstable. You are a
junkie--for power, for wealth. I am a businessman. I adhere to a code of
honor that you have profaned. Now, prepare to knock on the gates of
Hell."
"You're right about one thing," says Walter. "I am the one who knocks."
With
that, Walter falls backwards. As he descends, he lifts the RPG until
its missile is pointed squarely at Cyberfring's atomic core.
"Hoooaaaahhhh!!!" screams the cyborg as Walter
fires. Everyone is consumed in a mushroom cloud that devastates all of
Albuquerque.
According to the script, the show
ends with Walter jolting from his sleep in a messy bedroom we haven't
seen before. He now has a full head of hair, and his goatee is replaced
by morning scruff.
Lois rolls over, her hair bulging with curlers.
"Hal? You better not be having a heart attack. Our insurance premiums
are high enough as it is."
"Lois, you'll never believe the crazy dream I just had. Hey, do you smell something? Like cat pee?"
She sniffs the air and winces. "Yeah, actually. Dewey!"
Dewey crashes through the bedroom door and wearing footy pajamas. "Mom, Malcolm's experimenting in the kitchen again!"
"MALCOLM!" Hal screams, leaping out of bed and charging towards the camera.
Roll credits.
------------------------------
"I wasn't satisfied with the end of 'Malcolm in the
Middle'," said Vince Gilligan. "I created 'Breaking Bad' to bring my
favorite sitcom to the most epic conclusion I could. It's the least I
could do."
Police are assembling in several major cities in
anticipation of massive civil unrest. A bipartisan effort to force a
re-write of the entire final episode by law is currently being drafted
in accordance with the advice of Homeland Security officials. President
Obama has promised to sign the bill into law the moment it hits his
desk.
"This is unacceptable," said Obama. "The National
Guard is on stand-by at this time. We will get the ending this series
deserves."
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