Bizarro Religion Bureau- While taking questions from reporters on a plane ride home from Rio, Pope Francis was questioned about the presence of homosexuals in the Vatican. Francis shrugged and replied, "Who am I to judge a gay person?"
When pressed for more information about this unexpected answer, P-France gave a very candid account of the Vatican's secret sassy side.
"Well, look at these robes I wear. They are custom tailored, embroidered with gold threads. I have more in my apartment that would make Elton John feel faint with jealousy. Could a straight tailor have designed such bold and flamboyant garments?
"And the art! Have you seen the stuff our church has commissioned? There are wangs as far as the eye can see. There's a reason for that, my friends!"
Despite a rising number of Catholics supporting same-sex marriage, the Vatican either sidestepped the issue entirely, or reaffirmed its stance that homosexuality could not be accepted within the church. Now the very head of that church had changed the game unexpectedly.
"Have you ever seen acts of same-sex affection within the Vatican?" asked Bob Hanson, a reporter from the blog Beiberfans United.
"No, but my gaze would not linger on two dudes kissing," replied Pope Francis. "Now, two nuns? That might be another story entirely!"
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