Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Toothpaste Terror Transcends Territories

Bizarro Montgomery, AL (BP)- An investigation of a tainted letter sent to the Alabama Attorney General's Office has created more questions than it answered.

"We have determinated that the substance is dried toothpaste," said Alabama Bureau of Investigation agent Bobby Jeb. "Problem is, ain't no folks 'round here that has any use for the stuff."

Investigators have been forced to turn their search for a suspect out of state, and perhaps internationally. Interpol reports that they have received many "aggressive" requests to investigate French citizens.

"They wish to investigate on the basis that French harbors 'socialists' and the 'artsy-fartsy types' who would hate the people of Alabama for their freedom," said Reynaud Jacques, a French Interpol agent. "It is true that we have many of both, but what of it? Though if it is toothpaste they seek, I would suggest omitting Britain from their search. Hah! Have you seen what it is that I have done there?"

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