Bizarro Tallahassee, FL (BP)- During a contentious town hall forum held by Representative Steve Southerland (R-FL), an innocuous line of questioning lead to a surprising revelation. By his own admission, Rep. Southerland has never read any bill, and doesn't plan to start.
After a woman in the audience asked about his position on the latest immigration reform bill, the representative shrugged.
"Look, I am not going to vote on a bill that I have not read," Southerland replied.
Activist Barbara DeVane, a retired teacher, was aghast.
"Isn't that, like, a fundamental part of your job? What do you do if not read and interpret bills?" DeVane exclaimed.
"Well, m'am, I mostly keep myself occupied with organizing my next campaign, managing my Fantasy Football team, and there's some great stuff on Netflix these days," Southerland explained. "As far as bills go, I vote on the ones that my bosses pay me to vote on. Guy's got to make a living, you know."
"But we're your boss!" shouted car detailer Owen Fallon. "Our tax dollars pay you to do your job!"
Rep. Southerland seemed puzzled.
"Wait, so I get a regular salary as part of this gig?" Southerland asked. "Hot damn, so that's what that direct deposit form was for!"
The town hall forum was adjourned soon after, with no explanation of who's been paying Southerland to vote for or against certain bills or who was on his Fantasy Football roster. Bizarro Post caught up with Rep. Southerland outside of the town hall, where he declined to answer every question except one: Did he feel this admission hurt his chances in the next election cycle?
"I'm a Republic in Tallahassee for Pete's sake," laughed Southerland. "I dunked my nuts in the Sea of Galilee, and I'm still unstoppable. It's a pretty sweet gig if you can get it."
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