Bizarro Washington DC (BP)- As part of President Barack Obama's perplexing campaign to crack down on marijuana, even in states where it can be grown for medical purposes, the president has issued an arrest warrant for 17-year-old Barack "Barry" Obama.
"We understand that this individual is operating an organization of some kind in Hawaii, several decades in the past," said DEA public relations manager Kerry Sanders.
Obama, leader of The Choom Gang, is believed to have trafficked and consumed large amounts of marijuana with his subordinate "Choomers" when not attending high school (pun not intended, but accepted). We obtained an exclusive interview with Paul Warren, a former member of The Choom Gang.
"Barry, yeah, he rose to the top of our little group completely organically," Warren recalled. "If he'd give up the dope, I think he could really make something of himself someday."
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