Friday, August 16, 2013

Go to the Guidance Counselor: Venus Brotrap

Write a postcard from an annoying venus flytrap that wants to get in to the Guinness "Book of World Records"

Hey Dad!

I know you're disappointed in me taking a sabbatical after getting my degree in art history. Apparently you think a "sabbatical" is only a thing if you're a college professor or something, but I don't play by the rules anyway. YOLO! Anyfart, I'm chilling at this body farm and there's mad flies! Like I told you, I'm going to get that world record and start working on that book deal. Working's for followers, and I'm a leader (no offense, man). Yo, and could you also spot me 20 or 100 bucks? It's an investment in my future success. Once I hit it big on the speaking engagement circuit, I'll not only move my stuff out of your house, I'll pay you rent for the year I spent recuperating from my stressful senior year. You know I'm good for it!

One love,
Chompy.

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