IT'S OVER! Zimmerman Case Reaches Long-Awaited Conclusion

BIZARRO NEW YORK (BP)- On February 26, 2012, an emotionally charged, divisive murder case began in Sanford, Florida over the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, 17, by George Zimmerman. Over one year later, a grateful nation finally has closure. Donald Trump has spoken.

"I have been briefed on this exciting news," said President Barack Obama. "We thank Mr.Trump from the bottom of our hearts. There's a reason why NASA sent my real birth certificate to the moon. It's the only place that brilliant man couldn't reach. Yet."

Spontaneous celebrations broke out in the streets of major cities, the jubilant chants of "U-S-A!" uniting a public that had been at odds over Zimmerman's fate.

The aftermath of an Oakland, CA police officer fist pumping with joy in his cruiser.

And in the homes of proud Americans, there are quiet moments of triumph. For months, bedtime at the Memola household came with questions. Every night, Fred Memola had to tell his daughter that Donald Trump had not passed judgement. She rarely slept, and her schoolwork suffered.

"It was bedtime, and I was reading her Tweets from @realDonaldTrump. It's helped her calm down, but it wasn't enough," said Mr.Memola in a phone interview with FOX Bizarro News. "We cried together when it arrived. She's sleeping like a baby right now. And you know what? I will too."